2005 Highlights

Arrowhead Country Club hosted the 2^nd annual Founders' Cup, a modest upgrade from last year's MyrtleWood Ranch at DoubleWide Shores. Sitting comfortably at the turn at -3, the team of Palumberi, Shust and Brenneman had their names all but etched on the Founder's Cup with the other two teams (Reardon, Champion, Williams, Kushner and DeRosa, Yakich, Heaney and Kolinski) approaching the #10 tee box four shots back at +1. Little did they know they would be a part of history in the biggest collapse in Founders' Cup history. With his teammates' tee shots in deep trouble on #10, Andy Van de Velde hit his drive into the water, but thankfully he had an extra tee shot, which he also promptly dumped into the water. Five shots later...on the same hole...the four-shot lead was gone, leaving the other two teams with renewed spirit for a back-nine charge, and charge they did.

With Team Van de Velde reeling, the other two teams engaged in a legendary stare-down the rest of the way. Playing one hole ahead, the Reardon team would make birdie and the cheers from the gallery would resonate back to the DeRosa team on the tee box behind them. Undaunted, the DeRosa team would respond and the Reardon team would look back to see what all the noise was about. The match came down to the par 5 18^th, where the Reardon team was just off the green in two, chipped up close and made a downhill slider for a birdie to finish at -4. Having missed their approach into 18 wide right, Team DeRosa still had a chance to force a playoff but nobody could convert the sidehill, downhill putt, and the team of Reardon, Champion, Kushner and Williams were presented with the Founders' Cup in abstentia (that's Latin for "it wasn't there because Reardon left it at home").

The players retired to the Legends' Ailsa Pub, the new official home for the Founders' Cup dinner, where Captain Palumberi hatched his plan to throw Captain Reardon off his game before the matches even started. Still stinging from last year's upset to Team Reardon, Captain Palumberi decided to use some unconventional methods to bring the green jacket back to Florida. The first to arrive Thursday night, Palumberi made acquaintances with an unnamed man at the Ailsa Pub and offered up Reardon's room to him. "Make yourself at home...our place is your place, help yourself to anything you want," Palumberi said, and the man gladly accepted and moved in that night. When Reardon arrived Friday, he moved into the room, but in a Goldilocks moment remarked "someone's been sleeping in my bed." Just as dinner arrived, the Legends staff called Reardon (on Palumberi's cue) and demanded that he abandon his room immediately. Reardon, always known for his calm demeanor and patience, lost his temper, begrudgingly moved his belongings and came back to a cold steak sandwich. Palumberi's coolly sucked back a Heineken with a twinkle in his eye.

Gordo has been the Final Fore's own Julie McCoy since inception, a job he relishes...even when participants complain about their handicaps, course selection, rooming lists, daily pairings, game formats, daylight savings time, whether the basketball pool is included in the scoring...not that anyone complains. The only thing he would admit is a challenge to manage is the weather, but this year he proved he can Doppler with the best of them. With only one rained-out round in the Final Fore's history, Gordo takes pride in his command of the mid-Atlantic jet stream. But Final Fore 2005 was perhaps his finest hour. With "traditional" forecasters calling for a down pour Friday and Saturday, Gordo turned his nose at the amateurs and instructed competitors to play on.

Day 1 saw the most violent wind conditions since the aftermath of Dave Marvel and Mike Heaney Hooters' extra hot wings binge at Final Fore 2002. The storms having blown over Friday night, the players faced 30 mph head and tail winds at Tidewater. Take, for example, the 126 yard, par 3 4^th hole, where players were hitting 4 and 5 irons and coming up short...or being blown into the Intercoastal Waterway. In the "Sons of Italy" foursome, Palumberi/Masino made short work of DeRosa/Reardon 3-0 (in part because DeRosa was saddled with the only non-Pisan). Palumberi snickered under his breath every time Reardon missed a putt, knowing his plan was working to perfection. Brenneman/Kolinski also got out the brooms with a 3-0 sweep against Champion/Heaney, in part because they knew what their competitors were lying after every shot on every hole. With the only points for Team Reardon on day 1, Team Canada continued their Final Fore undefeated streak by scraping out a draw with Shust/Williams. The day ended with Team Palumberi holding a commanding 7.5-1.5 lead.

The competitors retired to Chuck's Steak House for a fine meal of steak (with a side of steak) to take in the semi-final games of the NCAA tournament. Then it was back to Final Fore Central for the now famous high stakes Texas Hold'em Tournament, where Iron Mike Heaney, fueled by six of Wayne's high octane Caesars, claimed his second straight title. Through his blood-shot red eyes, Heaney stared down every competitor to claim the biggest pot in Final Fore history.

WKRP in Cincinnati's Herb Tarlek welcomed competitors to Blackmoor Sunday morning and offered them a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to capture the memories of their weekend, but the players complied with a strict interpretation of the "no photos" policy and sent Herb and his multi-colored jacket back to the sales floor. It was up to the self-dubbed "Team Legend" (Champion and DeRosa) to set the tone and get Team Reardon back in the match, and they did so in fine fashion with a 3-0 whitewashing of Captain Palumberi and his ward Shust. Unfortunately, in the foursome behind them, Reardon/Kushner were getting waxed by Williams/Kolinski, Chen fittingly clinching it with a short birdie putt on #17. The upset of the morning came when Reardon paired high school buddies Yakich/Heaney together to knock off Masino/Brenneman 2-1.

The players moved down the road to this year's feature course, the TPC of Myrtle Beach, for the always challenging "Blackjack" matches. By most player accounts, TPC was one of the best courses to have hosted a Final Fore event, but the highlight of the afternoon was watching Palumberi do his best imitation of Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter. After hitting his approach into the water on #9, Palumberi removed his shoes and socks and proceeded to stand ankle-deep to try to salvage a point for his team. About 30 yards away across the pond, a 6-foot alligator had been sunning itself and smelled some fresh Italian cold cuts in the water. The Sheila skulked in and went for the kill, but JoePa had completed his shot and jumped back to safety on dry land.

The feature match of the day had Masino paired up with Jim Shust to take on his long-time rivals, Champion and Gordo. For those unfamiliar with the JTG/Shust rivalry, it traces its roots back to law school and various intramural sports that Shust always ended up on the short stick of when it came to facing Joe/Tom/Gordie...and if you don't believe how deep-seeded it is, just ask Shust to recount the goal he allowed in the finals of second-year floor hockey championships. The match plodded along harmlessly for the first nine holes, the teams drawing even on the front. The defining moment came on the par 4, 15^th hole with Shust/Masino holding a narrow lead but both struggling (Shust took a 7, Ralph a 9, and as we know, 79 is not a good blackjack score). With both Kushner and Champion on in 4 but with lengthy bogey putts, Masino put his arm around Shust and whispered: "Don't worry, these guys aren't going to make these putts and we'll be OK." Gordo fired the first dagger, nailing his downhill slider, and Champion followed with the exclamation point for a 55. The hole cost Shust/Masino 24 points. Gordo said to Joe driving to the next tee, "As your putt dropped, you could actually see the exact moment when Shust's heart was ripped out." They went on to take the match and 2.5 points. That, coupled with Reardon/Heaney's sweep of Chen/Brenneman, capped a remarkable comeback for Team Reardon and put them back on top 14-13 going into Monday's finale.

Final Fore historians will note that the Green Jacket is usually won or lost on Monday... the Saturday and Sunday matches are not much more than jockeying for position for championship Monday. Team Reardon was clinging to a 1-point lead going into the morning singles matches, but that narrow lead turned into a 6-point deficit before anyone could finish choking down a hotdog at the Legends' snack shack. Brenneman, Kolinski and Williams swept their singles matches over Heaney, Yakich and Kushner, respectively. Champion and Masino split their match. DeRosa and Reardon were the only Team Reardon players to win their matches, both 2-1 over Palumberi and Shust, respectively.

The savvy captains had not disclosed their afternoon pairings for the two-man scramble until just moments before the tee times. First out was Team Canada, their unblemished record at stake once again, this time against Kolinski/Shust. This one had plenty of drama after Kolinski questioned Team Canada's application of Rule 13-1 of the Rules of Golf (the ball must be played as it lies) on the 9^th hole when their ball sat outside a hazard, in bounds, and Team Canada played it from there. The players continued to discuss the issue in a gentlemanly fashion for another hole. Kolinski's attempt to rile Team Canada, however, backfired as the Canucks went on to sweep Shust and his boy 3-0, posting both the lowest two-man scramble score in Final Fore history and the most beer consumed from the 17^th hole at Parkland to the clubhouse (given Wayne's high-profile and public job, that record will remain unpublished). Right behind them Reardon/Champion were putting a beat-down on Chen/Masino, who many thought would rally given their Philly connections (Ralph claims to be an Eagles fan and Chen went to Villanova). But Joe and Reardo treated them like a baby treats a diaper and also swept the match. The matches sat at 25.5-25.5 as the final pairing of Palumberi/Brenneman vs. DeRosa/Heaney approached the 18^th tee with the gallery looking on.

Their match was equally close, with each team holding a point and the match - and the Final Fore - on the line. The gallery was louder than ever, yet somehow Andy Brenneman was able to block out all the noise and focus on the task at hand...sitting just off the green in 2, he nailed the putt to give his team the victory in Final Fore VIII. He coolly walked off the green, thinking everyone was applauding his neatly pressed pants.

It's not easy being a Final Fore rookie. Heck, we've all been one once. Some are one hit wonders who leave their mark, never to return...Alan Kittson, Jim McGrath, Tom Arnsmeyer, Paul Texeira or Scott Sniffen, to name a few. Others transition from peach-fuzzed plebes to grizzly veterans...Dave Williams, Andy Brenneman and Greg DeRosa come to mind. Some rookies scoff at Final Fore tradition and hierarchy and don't give a damn about whether they get invited back; others work very hard to ensure they are first on the list for a call-back.

This year saw the most brazen attempt by a rookie in Final Fore history to try to ensure a call-back. In the darkness of 04:15 am Tuesday morning, as the players were loading the SUV with their bags for the airport, Chris Shust launched "Operation ShoeGate." His idea: "well, if we all get our shoes mixed up, I suppose we'll just have to get back together in Myrtle Beach next April and exchange them, and I'll make sure mine is one of them."

So he took one of Joe's golf shoes (a/k/a "Mr. 59") and put it in his bag, put one of Wayne's in Reardon's bag and sent one of his own shoes back to Indiana. He either had a very odd foot fetish or an ingenious plan to try to ensure he would get asked back for Final Fore IX. Wayne, however, was quick to discover the ruse and a flurry of e-mails circulated before everyone's planes landed back home to ensure the shoes were returned to their rightful owners. The shoes were finally exchanged a month later, and Shust is now trying to hatch another plan to make sure he gets invited back .

He's already marked his calendar, as each of you should, for Final Fore IX - March 30 - April 4, 2006! Make sure to tag your shoes!