2004 Highlights

Fame is fleeting in today's world...just ask Andy Smith. One day, you're the toast of Myrtle Beach, the self-appointed Mayor, your name and image associated with the kickoff event of the most prestigious golf tournament on the Grand Strand. But in one very brief moment, all of that was gone...what started out as a minor scheduling issue complicated by a girlfriend-induced relocation transformed the once famous Mayor's Cup at King's North into the newest event of the Final Fore, the Founders' Cup at Myrtlewood.

Despite the last minute scramble for a host course and a sponsor (Final Fore Founders Yakich, Poole, Kushner and Heaney all agreed to a 5-year contract to sponsor the event), the Founders' Cup allowed Final Fore participants to work out a few kinks in a two-man, pro-am format for the hallowed Founders' Cup. The trophy is the old Mayor's Cup, with the word "Mayor" etched out with a divot replacer. Newcomer Tom Lantz (pro) teamed up with Andy Brenneman (am) to be the early clubhouse leader. But, perennial late arrivers Reardon and Chen hit the ground, went straight to the tee box and came on strong to forge a tie. And since the Founders' Cup has room for four names, a tie was deemed the only fair result.

While the Founders were able to retain Hooters as the "Official Beer and Wing Supplier" of the Founders Cup, Hooters clearly got the better of the deal - they get the value of being associated with our tournament and we still have to pay for the beer and the wings. However, it was there that we learned that Reardon was appointed as the ringleader of Chen's bachelor party. If past history is any indicator, Reardon will call Chen the night before and have to cancel because his boss needs him to collate some briefs.

The days leading up to the Final Fore were abuzz with rumors and speculation about the equity of the teams after a last minute cancellation by Chip Wilson forced tournament organizers to find a replacement and, as a result, reshuffle the teams. When Chen the Apprentice heard the words "You're fired" from Team Reardon via e-mail just prior to departing, he ended any further discussion about team equity when he said of rookie Tom Lantz: "He's just like his cousin Champion...anybody can play Indiana farm boy golf, hit the ball into the pasture, go find it and hit it again. The water and sand will eat those hayseeds up."

With the addition of the trash-talking Williams to his team, Captain Palumberi's motley crew took on an even more acerbic flavor. Greg Kolinski, fresh off his rookie of the year performance, came in guns a blazing with a series of e-mails questioning people's manhood, warning people to bring their "A" games and touting himself as the best addition to the Final Fore since, well, himself. Add to that Steve Poole, who never met a controversy he didn't like to throw gasoline on, and Ralph Masino, and you've got a recipe for disaster. Palumberi himself admitted this was the biggest challenge of his career as a captain. "If I make it through the weekend without one of my guys getting punched out...by me...it will be an absolute miracle," he noted.

But perhaps this dangerous mix of fire and gasoline could work. As the winds fanned the flames at Wicked Stick, Palumberi/Kolinski muscled their way to a 2-1 victory over Lantz/Yakich. In the annual GQ Fashion Match, Brenneman/Masino beat Champion/Heaney...on the course (2-1) and in the best-dressed category. Brenneman's pleated pants and neatly creased shirt impressed the on-lookers, while Champion, refusing to take blame for the loss, blamed Heaney's Fred Flintstone socks rather than take responsibility for his disheveled, unkempt look and choice of burnt orange shirt and black knickers. Team Reardon's only match win came when Reardon/Kushner prevailed 2-1 over Poole/Williams. Day 1 ended 6-3, Team Palumberi.

Saturday evening saw the first ever "Final Fore Texas Hold'Em" tournament, where all 12 competitors threw in big bucks for their chance to be the next Chris Moneymaker or Dutch Boyd. Kushner was the first to drop out, prompting teammate Champion to note that Kushner wasn't much of a gambler anyway ("he asks for odds on the sun coming up"). One by one, players dropped from the table until only one man was left standing - "Poker Face" Heaney, who attributed his success to his lucky Fred Flintstone socks.

When it comes to Myrtle trips, Tom Reardon is known for a lot of things...his infamous no-show at Final Fore 2002, his even more infamous missed 1-foot putt in Final Fore 1999, his role as the instigator in the Driving Ms. DeRosa incident in Final Fore 2002 and his lap dance with the "heavy girl" at Derriere's in Final Fore 2000. What he is not known for is shrewd decision-making abilities when it comes to...well, anything. Many have questioned his role as a captain, and most of the attention has been focused on his pairings.

So when he started off Day 2 AM at the Legends by pairing boyhood friends Heaney/Yakich together, along with law school roommates Champion and Kushner and himself taking rookie Lantz under his wing, allegations that someone else had made up the pairings started to surface because they just seemed to make too much sense Those rumblings turned serious after Lantz/Reardon and Kushner/Champion each pulled 2-1 victories over Palumberi/Poole and Masino/Williams, respectively, to draw Team Reardon to within a point at 8-7. Unfortunately, Heaney/Yakich weren't able to draw on their more than 40 years of friendship to win even one point from Kolinski/Brenneman...if only this was Euchre.

The PM matches switched to a new format for the Final Fore Blackjack, where players were given a scientific calculator, an abacus and a Ouija board and asked to play 18 holes and report a score. Nobody knows exactly how they did, other than Lantz/Kushner dressed down Palumberi/Williams in Joe's worst round of golf in Final Fore history, Champion/Yakich (two of FF's avid gamblers) ate Masino/Kolinski's lunch despite Masino trying to decapitate Wayne in a feigned attempt to pick up his golf ball, and Poole/Brenneman stepped in to save the day for Team Palumberi with a 3-0 whitewashing of Reardon/Heaney. Team Palumberi held a not insurmountable lead at 16-11.

Sunday night, Tom Reardon stared blankly off the deck of his veranda at the Legends, a beer in one hand and a beer in the other, pondering the matchups for the individual match play event Monday morning. What had set Captain Palumberi apart was his legendary and thoughtful decision-making, something Reardon strived for but frankly never achieved. Calls for Reardon to resign his captaincy in advance of the tournament made it clear that this was make or break for him, that he could be relegated to Heaney's ball washer next year. But he knew Captain Palumberi had to deal with a mix of caustic personalities that the Final Fore had never seen. Would he take advantage of that...it's Reardon, of course he would.

It was a chilly Monday morning at the Davis Love course when the teams assembled for the individual match play event. A leader by example, Reardon swept Palumberi 3-0 despite being duped by Chen into hitting the wrong ball and losing the 14th hole, only to come back and win the next two to win the match. Kushner made short work of Chen...no pun intended...with a 2.5-.5. win, and Tom Lantz - voted best new addition to Final Fore (sorry Kolinski) - swept Poole (I guess when you're from Philly, you kind of get used to losing). Kolinski, Masino and Brenneman stepped up for their side. The morning matches brought the score to 23.5-21.5, meaning Team Palumberi only needed 4 of the 12 afternoon points available to repeat as Champions.

Another Final Fore came down to the last three rounds of the last day as the players paired up for the two-man scramble. The featured match of the day was Team Canada/Team Philly II, with Yakich/Kushner defending their title against Poole/Masino. This matchup needed no hype, no build up, no hyperbole...the rivalry could not be more bitter, more deep-seeded, more ... fashion-focused. With the hopes of a nation on their shoulders, Team Canada decided that they were not only going to out-golf Team Philly, they were going to out-dress them. Clad in matching red/black hats and shirts, Team Canada proved that they were more than just a couple of Molson drinking, toque wearing snowmobile riders when they embarrassed Team Philly with a sweep 3-0. Reardon/Champion brought in another two points for Team Reardon, causing Champion to remark that Kolinski was very quiet throughout the round --- "It must have been hard to talk when he was choking like that," he said. Lantz/Heaney were able salvage the one point needed for Team Reardon to clinch the title - again, Heaney pointed to the Fred Flintstone socks as what made the difference.

Each Final Fore seems to take on a life of its own. Each year, the story lines develop by themselves; they are not created or manufactured by Hollywood executives. Final Fore is, in this era of reality TV, a reality show itself. There is no acting, no scripts to follow, no editing...just real guys playing real golf. There is the underachieving leader who has failed time and time again, facing his last shot at redemption against the guy who was the captain of the football team, with the long dark mane that drives the strippers wild. There is rivalry, two brothers-in-law who go on the trip for one reason alone, to crush the life out of those two guys from Philly. There is the guy with the fancy clothes but no game to back it up, the guy with the mouth but no game to back it up and the guy who's afraid people won't like him if he doesn't have the perfect crease in his pants every morning. There's the rookie who comes in and keeps his head down, speaking only when spoken to, carrying other's bags, complimenting everyone in the hopes of getting invited back and the grizzly veteran, about to get married enjoying his last hurrah with the fellas. And what script would not be complete without a guy who has the balls to wear Fred Flintstone socks while golfing.

I have sold the broadcast rights to Final Fore 2005 (April 1-5, 2005) to CBS. Mark your calendars and set your TiVo - Survivor: Myrtle Beach is just six short months away!